초록글한국어로 다시 쓰기 너무 귀찮고… 원래 대화 자체가 영어라 영어로 쓰는 게 더 표현 잘 될 거 같아서 그냥 올려
My man (22M) that I've (19F) had situationship with for 6 weeks didn't take me seriously but he would like to make it serious.
TL;DR : My situationship who didn't take me seriously because of his past awfully ended relationship wants to be seriously with me but seems like he doesn't put much effort opposite to his sweet words. What should I do? Do I need to wait for him and give him some time or just leave?
Hello, I just moved to a new country far from my fatherland two months ago. While just having a walk at late night 6 weeks ago, he approached and asked for my instagram. I gave it and we started to talk since then. I took him seriously from the first time we met.
The beginning was very good honestly. We texted a lot and he asked me out for dates. He initiated definitely. But from one moment, he stopped texting and initiating. I'm not afraid of initiating in relationship, so I initiated text and dates and made plans for us. For the last 2-3 weeks, he didn't do anything first. I had been very upset about it.
And then this happened ; I had used tinder for about a week before I met him. While I was doing shopping casually, the remained tinder account popped up in my head and accessed to it to delete the account. Surprisingly the first profile I saw was HIM. I was very mad and asked him directly whether he was interested in me or not.
We had some conversation about this. He said he didn't take me seriously because of his past trauma ; He was dating with a woman in the past who just moved to the country like me. They got serious but unfortunately his girl wanted more freedom and hung out with random strangers more and more. He felt like he was holding her down and didn't want to feel in this way anymore. His past relationship ended awfully. He assumed that I would be the same with the girl. I showed my disappointment to him because he has never communicated or asked me about it. YES, IT'S KINDA MY FAULT THAT I DIDN'T ASK ABOUT HIS OPINION EARLIER but he could have asked about it too. Also he once asked me if I was having sex with other men so I thought we would be serious. (I was stupid.) Actually after hearing it, I could understand why he stopped texting me first from a moment. I once hung out with some random people and a common friend of us sent him my picture. AND AFTER THE DAY HE STOPPED INITIATING. Honestly, it was my first and last time to hang out with random strangers haha. So what a coincidence.
I told him that I would not like to keep our romantic relationship anymore unless he wants a serious one. Then he said he would love to try to be serious. He said he could be totally exclusive with me but he needs to know more about me and it takes time for him to make a decision. I asked him once more about his decision because I didn't want to force someone to like me or take me seriously. He said the decision was made by himself and he would like to try.
This conversation was made like 3-4 days ago but Idk he still didn't initiate any dates or ask my schedule. We haven't seen each other for 10 days at this moment. YOU MIGHT SAY "OH, YOU SHOULD ASK HIM OUT FIRST" but it feels like I'm the only one who wants this relationship. I have initiated all the things for the last 3-4 weeks and want him to do it voluntarily, not by me asking him "Oh, I would want you to initiate." He had asked me for dates before so he is not shy or something like this obviously. I feel like I'm just so stuck in somewhere. DON'T PLEASE SAY "JUST ASK HIM." cuz I already told him while having those serious conversations that I was waiting for him to ask me for dates. I don't know what to do. **PLEASE GIVE ME SOME ADVICES!!**
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